Sunday, February 6, 2011

Follies of the World Cup

Every now and then we have people coming up with some kind of lists. However, this list is a bit different – a list of those moments of madness. You might be forced to ask: What were they thinking?

  1. Imran Khan and his World Cup winning speech (1992): Imran Khan’s ‘Cornered Tigers’ won the world cup. However, the inspirational captain forgets to mention any of his team mates or coaching staff in the final speech. They say Javed Miandad is sulking since.
  1. Sultan Zarawani’s no helmet show (1996): Let’s face it, you must either have some serious insurance or mentally unstable to face Allan Donald without a helmet. Zarawani was down and on the count first ball!
  1. Hansie Cronje and his ear plugs (1999): An earplug was plastered to Hansie’s left ear. Officials asked the South African skipper to remove it. Tech-savy coach Woolmer and Cronje’s idea came crashing down, and an investigation was ordered by the ICC.
  1. Zaheer Khan sledges Gilchrist and Hayden (2003): The first over of the innings by Zaheer went for 15, plus he was sledging both Gilchrist and Hayden. The sledging back fired and both got stuck into him. India never recovered from the onslaught.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Chandi Chowk to China get its inspiration from Kung-Fu Panda.

Chandani Chowk to China has some queer similarities or should we say it is 'inspired' from the ani-movie Kung-fu Panda. These observations are based on the trailers that are on air these days. If and when I watch the movie, I'd be able to figure out a dozen more!

* Both the movies are based in China.

* A common, layman kinda person goes on to defeat the evil.

* An unlikely hero from an unlikely place.

* Poo (The Panda) is chosen to be warrior against evil . Sidhu (Akshay Kumar) comes to know he was an ancient Chinese warrior against evil.

* Poo is a cook and works at his dad's restaurant. Sidhu by the looks of the trailers looks a cook too.

* Poo know nothing about Kung-Fu. Sidhu also knows nothing about Kung-Fu.

* Poo learns Kung-Fu the hard way. Sidhu also learns Kung-Fu the hard way.

* Poo doesn't believe that he has it in himself to beat evil. Sidhu too believes in anything but himself.

* Poo's master's name is Master Shifoo. Sidhu's master name is guess what Master Shifoo.

Friday, June 13, 2008

An Obituary of the Late Mr. Rivalry (between India and Pakistan in cricket matches).*

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Rivalry (between India and Pakistan in cricket matches) , who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost at the time partition. Rivalry will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Hate each other, Win at all costs, No match should be concluded without some good ol' sledging, among other things.

Rivalry started even before the time both the teams set their foot on the ground, the crowds started to cheer and the commentators engaged in setting up players with each other.

Rivalry's health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing tournaments like the IPL were set in place. Reports of a 30-year-old Younis Khan laughing his lungs out when he bowled the last over for four runs when the Indian scoreboard showed 331 shocked many purists; Afridi completed his bowling quota without even uttering a word to the Indian batsmen; Kamran Akmal going through the motions without even shouting or encouraging other players from behind the stumps.

Rivalry lost ground when Pakistani players were just short of back-slapping the Indian players on live tv.

It declined even further when IPL team-mates from both the sides thought that they were in an extended net session. Rivalry lost the will to live when there was no fight-back or resistance from the Pakistan side when India were routing them merrily. Rivalry took a beating when Pakistan team known not known for meek surrenders especially against India folded their innings with 15 overs to go.

Rivalry finally gave up the will to live, after Pakistan gave up the match even before the first ball had been bowled.

Rivalry was preceded in death, by his parents Partition and Politics, his wife Hostility, his daughter Sledging, his son Detest.

He is survived by his 4 step brothers;

Too many India-Pak matches

India-Australia is the rivalry to watch now

Pakistan team is no more the same

Pakistan team plays only with minnows

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

My dear Rivalry you will be dearly missed.

*Based on An Obituary printed in the London Times

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Don't Stop, Keep Walking

To succeed in business or life we must continually take remedial actions. Putting yourself on the line day after day can be extremely draining, especially when things do not work out as desired. Whatever happens don’t stop, keep walking; for success may be close than you thought it would be.

Bill Gates founder and chairman of Microsoft, has literally changed the work culture of the world in the 21st century, by simplifying the way computer is being used. He was the world's richest man for more than one decade. However, in the 1970's before starting out, he was a Harvard University dropout. The most ironic part is that, he started a software company (that was soon to become Microsoft) by purchasing the software technology from "someone" for only $US50 back then.

Abraham Lincoln received no more than 5 years of formal education throughout his lifetime. When he grew up, he joined politics and had major failures in businesses and senate elections, before he was elected the 16th President of the United States of America.

Isaac Newton was the greatest English mathematician of his generation. His work on optics and gravitation made him one of the greatest scientists the world has even known. Many thought that Isaac was born a genius, but he wasn't! When he was young, he did very poorly in grade school, so poor that his teachers became clueless in improving his grades.

He has no formal training in drawing caricatures, however, R K Laxman went ahead and applied to the J J School of Arts, Mumbai. He was rejected. The Dean told him that the drawings he had submitted as part of his application "lacked the talent to qualify for enrolment." R K Laxman continued to do what he loved to the most—drawing caricatures. He worked in the Times of India building, right next to J J School of Arts, and immortalized the “Common Man”. Many years down the line, R K Laxman was invited to J J School of Arts as a chief guest at its annual exhibition of paintings; ironic when the same institution had rejected his application.

Of the seven children born to Johann Beethoven, Ludwig van Beethoven and two younger brothers survived infancy. Ludwig van Beethoven, a German composer of classical music, is widely regarded as one of history's supreme composers. His reputation has inspired and in many cases intimidated composers, musicians and audiences who were to come after him. Before the start of his career, Beethoven's music teacher once said of him "as a composer, he is hopeless". And during his career, he lost his hearing yet he managed to produce great music. A deaf man composing music, ironic isn't!

Thomas Alva Edison who developed many devices that greatly influenced life in the 20th century. Edison is considered one of the most prolific inventors in history, holding 1,093 U.S patents to his name. When he was a boy his teacher told him he was too stupid to learn anything. When he set out on his own, he tried more than 9,000 experiments before he created the first successful light bulb.

Michael Jordon is the greatest basketball player of all time. A phenomenal athlete with a unique combination of grace, speed, power, artistry, improvisational ability and an unquenchable competitive desire. Jordan single-handedly redefined the NBA superstar. Before joining NBA, Jordan was just an ordinary person, so ordinary that was he was removed from the high school basketball team because of his "lack of skill".

A truck driver by profession for the Crown Electric Company, Elvis Presely was thrown out of the studios by the producers who said, “You ain’t no singer, lad”. Presley was bullied at school; classmates threw "things at him—rotten fruit and stuff—because he was different... quiet and he stuttered and he was a mama's boy." Nonetheless, Elvis went on to become an American singer, musician and actor. Elvis is also a cultural icon, often known as "The King of Rock 'n' Roll", or simply "The King".

Colonel Sanders (founder of Kentuky Fried Chicken) was only six when his father died, forcing the young Harlan to be responsible for taking care of his younger siblings and doing much of the family's cooking. A year later he was already a master of several regional dishes. Over the course of the next 30 years, Sanders held jobs ranging from streetcar conductor to insurance salesman, but throughout it all his skill as a cook remained. In 1930, the then 40-year-old Sanders operated a service station in Corbin, Kentucky, where he served hungry travelers and time-strapped families. At 65, after running a restaurant for several years, Harland Sanders found himself penniless. He retired and received his first social security check worth $ 105 dollars. He started franchising his brand of chicken with the money, and convinced others to invest. Today KFC has over 32,500 KFC restaurants all over the world.

Walter Disney was American film producer, director, screenwriter, voice actor and animator. One of the most well-known motion picture producers in the world, Disney founded a production company. The corporation, now known as The Walt Disney Company, makes average revenue of US $30 billion annually. Disney started his own business from his home garage and his very first cartoon production went bankrupt. During his first press conference, a newspaper editor ridiculed Walt Disney because he had no good ideas in film production.

Winston Churchill failed the 6th grade. However, that never stopped him to work harder! He strived and eventually became the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom during the Second World War. Churchill is generally regarded as one of the most important leaders in Britain and world history. In a poll conducted by the BBC in 2002 to identify the "100 Greatest Britons", participants voted Churchill as the most important of all.

Divorced, unemployed and living on state benefits, J K Rowling (Author of Harry Potter) was diagnosed with clinical depression, and even contemplated suicide. Her first manuscript “Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone” was rejected by twelve publishing houses in England. She found a day job and continued to hunt a publisher, until a small British publishing house in London agreed to publish her novel with a meager advance of £1500. The Potter books have since gained worldwide attention, won multiple awards, and sold nearly 400 million copies (and counting). The 2007 Sunday Times Rich List estimated Rowling's fortune at £545 million, ranking her as the 136th richest person and the 13th richest woman in Britain. Forbes has named Rowling the second-richest female entertainer in the world, and ranked her as the 48th most powerful celebrity of 2007. Time magazine named Rowling as a runner up for their 2007 Person of the Year noting the social, moral, and political inspiration she has given her fandom

Steven Spielberg is an American film director. He has won 3 Academy Awards and ranks among the most successful filmmakers in history. Most of all, Steven was recognized as the financially most successful motion picture director of all time. During his childhood, Spielberg dropped out of junior high school. He was persuaded to come back and was placed in a learning-disabled class. He only lasted a month and then dropped out of school forever.

Albert Einstein was a theoretical physicist widely regarded as the most important scientist of the 20th century. He was awarded the 1921 Nobel Prize for Physics for his explanation of the photoelectric effect in 1905 and "for his services to Theoretical Physics". However, when Einstein was young, he lived in a refugee camp and his parents thought he was mentally retarded. His grades in school were so poor that a teacher called his parents and asked them take their son home forever. The teacher said, "Einstein, you will never amount to anything in life!"

Born as Norma Jean, Marilyn Monroe was raised in orphan homes and worked in a factory where she was required to spray airplane parts with fire retardant. In 1947, a year into her contract she was dropped unceremoniously by 20th Century Fox because her producer thought she was “unattractive and cannot act for anything in this world”. That didn't deter her at all! She kept on going and eventually went on to be a Golden Globe award winning American actress, singer, model, Hollywood icon, cultural icon, beauty ideal, fashion icon, pop icon and sex symbol.

John Grisham's first novel was rejected by sixteen agents and twelve publishing houses. He went on writing and writing until he became best known as a novelist and author for his works of modern legal drama. The media has coined him as one of the best novel authors even alive in the 21st century.

Henry Ford's first two automobile companies failed. That did not stop him from incorporating Ford Motor Company and being the first to apply assembly line manufacturing to the production of affordable automobiles in the world. He not only revolutionized industrial production in the United States and Europe, but also had such influence over the 20th century economy and society. His combination of mass production, high wages and low prices to consumers has initiated a management school known as "Fordism". He became one of the three most famous and richest men in the world during his time.

Soichiro Honda was turned down by Toyota Motor Corporation during a job interview as "engineer" after World War Two. He continued to be jobless until his neighbors starting buying his "home-made scooters". Subsequently, he set out on his own to start his own company. Honda. Today, the Company has grown to become the world's largest motorcycle manufacturer and one of the most profitable automakers - beating giant automaker such as GM and Chrysler. With a global network of 437 subsidiaries, Honda develops, manufactures and markets a wide variety of products ranging from small general-purpose engines and scooters to specialty sports cars.

Akio Morita, founder of giant electric household products, Sony Corporation, first product was an electric rice cooker, only sold 100 cookers (because it burned rice rather than cooking). Today, Sony generates US$66 billion in revenue and ranked as the world's 6th largest electronic and electrical company.

Working as a freight company executive at Shaw Wallace in Calcutta, Amitabh Bachchan was a former stage actor and radio announcer. Standing at 6’3 feet tall, he was considered as the most unusual choice in a lead role. Surprisingly, despite having a rich baritone voice, Bachchan failed All India Radio’s audition for a news reader as bosses at AIR thought the voice was “too harsh for a radio news reader”.

At the age of 50, when most people hang their shoes and look forward to a retired life, Mario Puzo wrote the Godfather an international breakthrough story about the roots of mafia, corruption, violence, and honour. Francis Ford Coppola (director of Godfather) at first was not convinced and thought that the story was not good, and cannot be made into a movie. Godfather went to be become cult-fiction on the mafia and it broke box-office records and won several Academy Awards.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Brad Hogg: A rare breed of spinner calls it day

Australia's left-arm wrist spinner, George Bradley Hogg announced his retirement and cricket lost one more gem of player. More importantly because, Hogg represented a rare art of spin, and was Australia's mercurial left-arm wrist spinner since 'Chuck' Fleetwood-Smith in the 1930s.

Grown up on a big 300-acre farm near Williams, Western Australia Brad Hogg's international career begun as left-handed batsman, he tried his hand had at bowling fast, and later accidentally turned into a left-arm wrist spinner. Little did he know that he was destined to be the second highest wicket-taking spinner Australia has ever produced.

Hogg still recalls the moment of transition. "We were playing New South Wales who had a bloke called David 'Freddie' Freedman who bowled left-arm chinamen and there I was trying to knock off Geoff Marsh and Tom Moody's heads with bouncers," Hogg said.

"Tony Mann, a leg-spinner, asked me to bowl a few chinamen for the batsman to prepare for Freedman. "He told me that they were coming out OK and it went from there."

And that's how the journey begin from a being a cipher to a world-class spinner, with a rare art of form. The likes of Freedman and Bevan were always around to pass on a tip or two, but apart from those interactions, Hogg virtually went untrained by a left-arm wrist spinner. Astonishing, when you consider that the guy went of capture most wickets after Shane Warne for Australia.

Working as a Postman in The Australian Postal Service, Hogg thanks his employer for being good and giving him the time off for state matches and fitting the shifts around practice. He candidly admits that working as a Postman has its own "moments" like almost running over a rottweiler while he was bust delivering letters on his motorbike. "I do my round like a Formula One driver," he once bragged – no wonder as Hogg was one of the fittest Australian followed by young turks like Michael Clarke and another veteran Michael Hussey in the shuttle competition between wickets. Hogg has this ever-present smile of a postman who's never known frantic dogs or rainy days, and may be that's where his strength lies when you consider he spent 7 years in wilderness when he was dropped after his first test match in Delhi against India.

Hogg's career was anything but a straight smooth line. Dropped after the Man-of-the-series award after a fantastic Bangladesh series in April 2006, he came back in the reckoning in the Caribbean World Cup 2007, taking as many as 21 wickets for a spinner behind none other then Murali himself. Known to posses one of the most difficult to spot googlies in the game, he spun a web around batsmen who were unable to read him off the pitch, through the air or out of his hand. For reasons best known to him, strangely enough his test career never really took off. Brought back into Test cricket against the Indians, after Stuart McGill was still unfit, he played the first two tests, outplaying Ganguly in particular, and was left out for the third test match in Perth. Although he played the last test of the series, which eventually turned out to be his test match of his career, Hogg was rendered ineffective on the 4th and 5th day track, when part-timer spinners Andrew Symonds and Michael Clarke out-bowled him comprehensively. Things couldn't get any better, when Sachin Tendulkar got stuck into him, smashing his bowling all over the park. An honest man, Hogg confessed in his post-match interview that he couldn't do anything different because Sachin had smashed his best ball for six right over his head and that was about it.

Turning back the hands of time, Hogg recalls an incident from his school days where the students where asked to write an essay on what they would like to be when they grow up. Brad Hogg went to script his dream of playing for the Australian cricket team, however, the teachers and students laughed it off when the teacher read the essay in front of the whole class. Many years on and Hogg must be having the last laugh.

Thanks for the memories Hoggy. Well-played mate!

About the author: Vijayendra Darode is a technical writer by profession and works as freelance journalist for tech blogs and magazines. An avid follower of the game, Vijayendra virtually lives, eats and breathes cricket. He enjoys reading about the game, watching it and listening to the commentary. If you'd like to use this article for commercial purposes for your website or magazine, please mail him on vijayendrad@gmail.com or call him on +919881099629.

Monday, October 22, 2007

ICC, is this rasicm?

Andrew Symonds was given the so-called monkey treatment by the crowds in Baroda and Mumbai. How on earth does these so-called monkey chants can be termed as racism? I have no clue whatsoever.

However, I did spot something, which I think the ICC must take a look at.


Here's Danish Kaneria doing his chicken dance to tease Kevin Pitersen. If monkey (our fore-fathers) chants can be termed as racism, this surely has to go down as one too.


Look Who's Talking!

Glen McGrath on Sree Santh and his aggression.

Giving blokes send-offs or sledging when you talk back I don't agree with but that's up to the officials to sort out.
Oh really Glen? You amuse no ends.